Treating Woman With Kindness

[ابوالوليد المسلم]

Treating Woman With Kindness

Ibraahim ibn Saaleh al-Mahmud



Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) says:
“And live with them honorably” [Surah An-Nisa’: 19].
The prophet (Peace be upon him) said; "Act kindly towards women for the woman has been created from a rib and the most crooked part of a rib is its upper part. So if you attempt to straighten, it, you will break it but if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women" [agreed upon].
The prophet (Peace be upon him) also said: "Beware, act kindly towards women. For they are married women with you. You have no right over them except this that they commit some obvious abomination. Then, if they commit that, leave them in beds (alone) and give them a beating without molesting (them). If, they obey you, do not then seek some excuse against them".[1]
Many of us have heard stories of men treating their wives badly as if they were slaves of an oppressive master they insulted and tormented them and in some incidents they even beat their faces, as a result the house becomes an unbearable hell.[2] This behavior is not a quality of the pious men. Islam has, forbidden such conduct, and the last command of the Prophet was:
“… Act kindly towards women.” [agreed upon],
Mua'wiya Ibn Ubayda (may Allah be pleased with him) reported, I said; "Allah’s messenger, what is the right of the wife if one of us comes upon her?" the Prophet replied, “If It is that you feed her when you, take food and provide, her clothes when you clothe yourself and that you do not beat her face, nor revile her; nor leave her alone except in the house.”[3]
Muslim Brother, I remind you to be gentle to your wife; treat her nicely and respect her, particularly in front of the children, because if you underestimate her personality, you might cause serious consequences. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:
"The most perfect of the believers in faith is be who is the most excellent of them in morals and the best of you are they who are best for their wives.” [4]
Brother, do not look for perfection in this universe; but accept what is best! And haven't you thought about yourself whether you are perfect or not. In reality, we are, all in the same position, there, is no need to demand perfection from others while we are drowned in our own 'flaws' and 'shortcomings’, seizing the opportunity of the woman's weakness and need, If we were stronger than her, Allah is stronger than us. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:
“A believer must not hate a believing woman, If he dislikes any of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.”[5]
A man asked al-Hassan Ibnu Ali, (may Allah be pleased with them) 'l have one daughter and 'she is getting married, to whom shall I give her? Al-Hassan Ibnu Ali then replied: "Marry her to someone who fears Allah, if he loves her, he will be kind to her. If he dislikes her, he will not treat her unjustly."[6]

[1] Reported by At-Tirmidhi

[2] “Nahwa Usratin Muslimatin" by Istanbuli

[3] Reported by Ahmed, Abu Dawud and Ibnu Maja

[4] Reported by at-Tirmidhi who categorized it as hasan

[5] Reported by Muslim

[6] al-iqdul Fareed