How to protect our families from the Fire (6/6)
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
• ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, reprimanded wailing and struck the wailing woman: Al-Bukhari, may Allah have mercy on him, reported without a chain that ‘Umar expelled the sister of Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, when she wailed.[1] Ibn Hajar, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “Ibn Sa’d narrated it with a complete chain of narration in At-Tabaqaat, with an authentic chain of narration, from Sa’eed ibn Al-Musayyib who said:
“When Abu Bakr died, one of his relatives was wailing over him. When ‘Umar heard of that, he prohibited them from doing so, but they did not listen. He said to Hishaam ibn Al-Waleed: ‘Let us go to the home of Abu Quhaafah – meaning, that woman.’ Then, he began striking the home with a stick or whip, and the wailing women left after hearing of that.”[2] In another narration: “He expelled them, one woman at a time, while striking them with a stick or whip.”[3]
• Ibn Mas’ood, may Allah be pleased with him, and his freeing himself from reprehensible actions: Look and reflect on the story of ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood, may Allah be pleased with him, when he said: “May Allah curse the tattooed women, those women that tattoo other women, women who pluck their eyebrows, and women who create gaps in their teeth to beautify themselves, because they are changing the creation of Allah.” One of the women from Banu Asad called Umm Ya'qoob heard this and came up to him and said: “I see your family doing something of the sort.” He said: “Go and see if they do that.” She went and saw but did not see what she wanted to see. Ibn Mas’ood, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “Had it been thus, I would not be with her under one household.”[4] The meaning is that he would not be in one home with her, would not be her companion, would not be with her, and would not allow her to remain in his house.
• Abu Moosa, may Allah be pleased with him, and his warning his family against some prohibited matters: Abu Burdah reported that Abu Moosa, may Allah be pleased with him, experienced some pain that caused him to become unconscious while his head was in the lap of one of his female relatives. She began to scream, but he was unable to say anything to her. When he woke up, he said: “I am free from what Allah’s Messenger, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, freed himself from. Allah’s Messenger, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, freed himself from women that raise their voices and scream during calamities, women that shave and cut their hair during calamities, and women that tear their clothes during calamities.”[5] Here, we have Abu Moosa Al-Ash’ari, may Allah have mercy on him, rebuking his wife while on the deathbed. Should not those who are enjoying sound health take that as a lesson and call their family to goodness while rebuking them for reprehensible matters?
Sixth: Watching over women who work:
When women leave their homes for work, many times it leads to corruption. Women working is one of the great doors to spreading evil that were it not a matter of necessity or the premise of pious women, it would result in great corruption.
Almost every day we hear of terrible stories in homes due to women going to work, and so forth. A woman who worked in a company got to know a man through her workplace. The outcome was that when her husband traveled, she received that man in her home when he was not present. All began in the workplace.
Therefore, a woman going to work is a dangerous matter and must be given rules and the orders of Islamic legislation must be taken into account.
The biggest goal and wish of the enemies of Allah such as the secularists and people like them are to figure out how to get the woman out of her home. That is why we find that they are so keen on women working, and by that, they are trying to destroy the last stronghold of the Islamic society.
Seventh: Keenness on educating and disciplining the child from a young age:
Negligence in caring for a child during their young age usually leads to their becoming deviants in the future, because our society is filled with moral corruption. This is the case if the child is neglected, so how about if the parent themselves are those corrupting them? Reforming children begins at a young age. If they get older, the train of reform will have passed, unless Allah the Exalted chooses to favor whomever He Wills through His Mercy.
A father once came to Shaykh Ibn Baaz, may Allah have mercy on him, complaining, and said: “I have children that never pray. I advised them, spoke to them, admonished them, and cursed them about this, but to no avail. What should I do?” The Shaykh, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “Advise them. When they reach ten years old, he should hit them until they reach puberty. As for at the time of puberty, then afterwards, hitting does not benefit, and it only results in hatred; also, the son might respond and hit their parents twice as hard as they hit them.” Look at the deep understanding of this Imam, and how he knew that children, after reaching the age of puberty, have also passed the age of reformation.
An elderly man on once said: “My daughter goes out to the street alone, hails a taxi and rides it. I do not know where she goes or where she comes from. I admonished her but she did not listen to what I said. I spoke to her mother about it, but she and her mother screamed at me and said: ‘This is how we live! Leave us alone!’ So, what should I do?”
To this we respond: now, after the period of education and raising them correctly has passed, you wish to try and advise and order them, and you wish to be obeyed? Raising and teaching children occurs best when they are young. When the young person is raised on something, they grow old doing that thing. We should fear Allah the Exalted with regard to our children and should begin teaching them when they are young, and before they enter a stage wherein they do not accept our advice or guidance.
Such a person should not despair in the Mercy of Allah the Exalted. He should continuously call them and advise them. He should also vary his methods. Thus, he should invite them sometimes, with a tape, other times through speaking to them, other times through a book, and other times through asking one of the righteous women in his family to talk to them. They should persist until Allah the Exalted rectifies their affairs, or Allah the Exalted allows a matter to proceed that He had predestined.
[1] Reported by Al-Bukhari (8/267).
[2] Reported by Ibn Sa’d in his book At-Tabaqaat (3/208).
[3] Fath Al-Baari (7/307).
[4] Reported by Al-Bukhari (4604).
[5] Reported by Al-Bukhari (1234) and Muslim (104).