How to protect our families from the Fire (5/6)
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
There are many reprehensible matters in the homes which can be divided into three categories:
First Category:
Reprehensible actions which are specific to the head of the household. These are very dangerous, because the child is raised while seeing his role-model doing those actions, such as smoking and watching movies and soap-operas. Some of them order their children to stay away from sins, but they commit them in front of them, then ask later on: why did my child go astray?
Listen to some elementary school teachers who relate what the children speak about innocently and spontaneously concerning reprehensible actions that occur in their homes. One of them said: “One of my students spoke to me, and he was in one of the elementary levels. He said: ‘My father drinks alcohol in the house, but when his friends come to drink alcohol together, he takes us out of the room.’ I said: ‘Perhaps they are drinking juice,’ and the child said: ‘No, I know it, they are drinking alcohol.’”
This young boy of six years old has this to say about his father. The father thinks that if he takes his boy out of the room he will not know what is happening. It did not cross his mind that children are intelligent and can understand many things. Another child said to his teacher: “My father does to the maid what my mother does to the driver.” Do you realize what the father is doing and what the mother is doing? What do we hope from such children when they become older? What kind of life, misery, and unhappiness will overcome these children while they witness such awful immoral actions being perpetrated in their homes?
Second Category:
Reprehensible matters which are specific to women and children but are facilitated by a man for his family. He might do so just to let them have some leisure, and does not wish to plant different types of sin and evil in them.
Many things that are facilitated for our children conflict with religion and our beliefs and plant polytheism and disbelief in them. Some cartoons, for example, plant the love of magic and magicians in the hearts of our children, while magic is disbelief in Allah the Exalted. In such movies, or in some video games, you find that the magician is a good person, helps the innocent, and fights the criminals. So, you find that the child wishes that the “good” magician is victorious. Therefore, look how the beliefs are turned upside down.
We do not mean that we should not give our families and children their rights in recreation or lawful leisure that is free of blameworthy matters, but, from the rights of the family and children on their parents is that they provide them with beneficial games, various types of lawful leisure, and to remove anything that would corrupt their religion or mind.
Earlier, when we would hear about an individual bringing things into the household that corrupts them, we should think that they just want them to amuse themselves and make them happy, and that they were heedless with regards to the types of corruption that such things cause. We did not believe that anyone would purposely try to corrupt their families, until I heard some stories that are contrary to intellect and sound nature. One of the young women said: “My father used to bring pornographic movies to the house and used to force me to watch them while I was two years and a half.”
Another says: “My father, since I was young, would take us with him to disbelieving countries during summer break. He would take us with him to bars that had dancing and corruption. After we got older and became young women who reached puberty, he would order us to dance with young disbelieving men. He would give us to them by his own hand in order to dance with them, and they could do what they wanted to us.” These are two stories I have heard myself and they were not told to me by anyone besides the two narrators.
These are astonishing examples that indicate complete bankruptcy of religion, manners, modesty, and the instinct to safeguard one’s family and preserve their modesty. These are examples that are present in our Islamic society. We are not talking about American or English societies in the disbelieving nations, we are talking about something that is present among us; this is how some of them raise their children, then we ask why sins are so widespread in our societies, why there are so many indecent incidents, and why fornication is so widespread.
Third category:
Immorality and immodesty in society works its way into our homes. The growing corruption and decadence in the markets, streets, and schools easily work their ways into our homes, because our children go to these places and mix with both righteous and corrupt people. The presence of corrupt individuals is glaring in our societies today. Thus, the head of the household must warn their families and children from learning from this society.
The Muslim who is a sincere advisor must constantly supplicate to Allah the Exalted to safeguard their family from the prevailing decadence and widespread destructive sins in our societies today.
For example, Loote (Lot), may Allah exalt his mention, lived in a corrupt society, and his people did not accept that he and his family be far from sin, and they pressured him in various ways. What did he say? He used to pray fervently to Allah and call on Him, saying (what means):
"My Lord, save me and my family from [the consequence of] what they do." [Qur’an, Surah Ash-Shu'ara' 26:169] He, may Allah exalt his mention, was keen on saving his family from corruption, and now, every Muslim with a sound mind should say: "My Lord, save me and my family from [the consequence of] what they do." [Qur’an, Surah Ash-Shu'ara' 26:169] Because the corruption that is present in our societies is similar to those of the people of Loote, may Allah exalt his mention; rather, they are more.
Allah the Exalted answered the supplication of Loote, may Allah exalt his mention, as He the Exalted Said (what means): "So We saved him and his family, all," [Qur’an, Surah Ash-Shu'ara', 26:170] This is the recompense of honesty and sincerity.
Here are some examples from the guidance of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his Companions in correcting some reprehensible matters in their homes:
• The Prophet, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, rejected certain blameworthy acts in his home:
‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said that she purchased a cushion that had some images on it. When the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saw her, he stood at the door and did not enter. She realized that he disliked something and said: “O Allah’s Messenger, I ask the forgiveness of Allah and of His Messenger; what have I done wrong?” He, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “What is that cushion?” She said: I purchased it so that you can sit and lie down on it.” He, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said; “Those who create these images will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them: ‘Bring to life what you have created."[1].
In another narration, it states that he did not enter until she removed it from the house[2].
Also, the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, expelled an effeminate man who had no desire for women who used to visit the wives of the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Then, he described one of the women of At-Taa’if, and the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “This one shall not enter on you.”[3].
(Continued)
[1] Reported by Al-Bukhari (1999) and Muslim (2107).
[2] The addition was reported by Abu Bakr Ash-Shaafi’i in Kitaab Al-Fawaa’id. Refer to Aadaab Az-Zafaaf (pg. 115).
[3] Reported by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh (4488) and Shu’ayb Al-Arnaa’oot ruled it as authentic.