How to protect our families from the Fire (3/6)
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Obligations we must be watchful over regarding our families:
The obligation of charity (Zakah); some of our relatives might have wealth, jewelry, or business that requires them to pay Zakah. At that, we must admonish them to pay Zakah, following the footsteps of the Prophet of Allah, Isma’eel (Ishmael), may Allah exalt his mention, who used to order his family to pray and give Zakah, as Allah the Exalted Said (what means): "And mention in the Book, Ishmael. Indeed, he was true to his promise, and he was a messenger and a prophet. And he used to enjoin on his people prayer and Zakah and was to his Lord pleasing." [Qur’an, Surah Maryam, 19:54-55]
Also, the head of the household must be watchful of their family while fasting and should help them in making up the days that they were not fasting in Ramadhan by fasting with them and urging them to be make haste in making up those days.
We should make it easy for our womenfolk to perform Hajj and ‘Umrah and to organize our time to travel with them in performing these two rites, because she needs a Mahram (male relative whom she cannot marry) to accompany her in her travels. The husband must not stand in the way of his wife if she wishes to perform the obligatory Hajj and has a Mahram. It is impermissible for him to prevent her from making the obligatory Hajj. Also, she does not have to obey him if he orders her to stay back while she is able to go.
If you can enable your family to preserve their religion, then I congratulate you. Life is truly amazing in a house where all of its members turn to Allah the Exalted, obeying His commands, and abstaining from His prohibitions.
Second: Keenness on worship-based upbringing in family life:
The man must work hard to raise the level of worship in family life. They should not make do with merely fulfilling what Allah the Exalted obligated on them, rather, they should encourage them to pray the emphasized voluntary prayers, the voluntary prayers, and the recommended prayers, just as the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to do, as ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “Allah’s Messenger would, when the last ten nights would enter, would bring the night to life (through prayer), would wake his family, and would become serious and dedicated in prayer.”[1]
Umm Salamah, may Allah be pleased with her, said that the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, woke one night and said: “Transcendent is Allah! How many afflictions have been sent down by Allah tonight, and how many treasures have been sent down? Who will wake the women sleeping in these rooms? Perhaps one will be clothed in this world, but naked in the Hereafter.”[2]
‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “Allah’s Messenger, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to pray by night, and when he would pray the Witr prayer, he would say: ‘Get up and pray Witr, O ‘Aa’ishah.’[3]
Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up and prays by night and wakes his wife and she also prays and if she refuses, he lightly drips some water on her face. May Allah have mercy on a woman who gets up and prays by night and wakes her husband and he also prays and if he refuses, she lightly drips some water on his face.” [4]
Abu Waa’il, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
“We went in the morning once to ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood after praying Fajr. We greeted him and he gave us permission to enter, but we remained at the door for a short while. A slave-girl came and said: ‘Will you not enter?’ We entered and found him sitting and glorifying Allah.
He said: ‘What stopped you from entering while I had given you permission?’ They said: ‘Nothing but we thought that some of the household would be asleep.’ He said: ‘You think that the family of Ibn Umm ‘Abd (meaning, Ibn Mas’ood) is heedless? (meaning, that they do not wake for Fajr or that they do not glorify and remember Allah after Fajr).’ Then, he proceeded to glorify Allah the Exalted until he thought the sun had risen.
Then, he said: ‘O girl, go see if the sun has risen.’ She went and checked and found that it had not yet risen.
So, he continued again to glorify Allah until he thought that it had risen, and said: ‘O girl, go see if the sun has risen.’ She went and checked and found that it had risen. He then said: ‘All praise is for Allah who forgave us this day and did not destroy us due to our sins.’[5]
An-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “This Hadeeth contains evidence that a man should be keen regarding their household and those under his care in matters pertaining to their religion.”[6]
Third: Teaching the family to have praiseworthy manners, shyness, and modesty:
Mujaahid, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “Advise yourselves and your families to fear Allah, and teach your family manners.”[7] No doubt, the head of the household must work to develop praiseworthy manners in their family, such as honesty, trustworthiness, a spirit of forgiveness, contentment, and patience. They should also teach them humility, modesty and how to treat parents, neighbors, relatives, and friends.
The husband must also be watchful over the tongue of his wife or daughter especially in regard to backbiting and slandering. He should also create an environment where the womenfolk of his family meet with righteous women. He should not allow them to mix with others, or he should prevent non-religious women from entering his home, because women's gatherings entail incurring numerous sins of the tongue, and sitting with righteous women lessens these sins.
[1] Reported by Al-Bukhari (2024) and Muslim (2008).
[2] Reported by Al-Bukhari (1058).
[3] Reported by Muslim (744).
[4] Reported by Abu Daawood (1308) and An-Nasaa’i (1610) and it was ruled as acceptable by Al-Albaani in his book Saheeh At-Targheeb wa At-Tarheeb (625).
[5] Reported by Muslim (823).
[6] Sharh Muslim (6/107).
[7] Reported by Al-Bukhari without a chain of narration or with a partial chain of narration (4/1868).